Too Many Boyfriend?

Can I say that having too many boyfriend is adventurous thing to do? Hmm..well, for me was a cool thing to do. I got all the focus and attention that I wanted but yet I always ended up wanted to add the list. Haha...I didn't realized at that time I was playing with fire.

When I was holding on to a-year-relationship with my first bf was really tough and caused my emotion to fluctuate up and down easily. He was busy with his work since this year as he was promoted as Regional Manager in his company. So, I decided to add the total of my friends so that I wouldn't get too lonely anymore. I met many new friends and eventually I became very busy and had tight schedule of plans with all the friends that I met for the past two years.

One day, I started to meet with this new guy friend named Alex that I just added in my list and we met a couples of time after that. Suddenly, he was sharing with me about how many gfs he had before. Then, I became closed to him and a month after that we became a couple.

At that time, I thought i have made my happiness and I will no longer be alone like before. But, eventually Alex become very busy with his work as well. Then a week later, my another friend that I have known since last year asked me whether I'm willing to be his gf eventhough he don't mind to share with other guys.

That was my third bf for that particular time... =.=''''

I was thinking to myself, " Hey, this is too wonderful to be true because I'm gonna enjoy all the attention and love that I can get from all my three boyfriends. I was happy and I didn't know that it was temporary happiness that soon gonna be faded.

As all my three bfs was too busy to spend time with me, I feel unsatisfied and was planning to get another one more boyfriend. I have chat with this friend for a few months and he has a gf in Australia. We started to share about our unhappiness and frustration towards our relationships.

Then one day, he asked me whether I can be his gf just for a week. In my mind was saying, "Wow! Good deal. As long we both do not fall in love with each other, its a deal." He made this agreement because his gf from Australia was suppose to come down to Malaysia to meet him for the first time. He got frustrated when his gf have to cancel the flight from Aus - Mas at last minute because of emergency matters.

We went for bowling, lunch, dinner and swimming. It was great and wonderful time with him as he is a gentleman and has some good characters. We joked, we laugh and teased a lot each other eventhough in what ever situation. We were like a young couple that just started to date and fall in love of each other. We will smses each other daily and it creates a good feeling.

Today was suppose to be our last week of being bf-gf. We were reluctant but then we really cherished the time that we spent together.

Now, it's hard to let go because of all my boyfriends has their owns attraction and charms. Haiz, I wish never started it but God is teaching me a lesson.

Eventhough how many boyfriends I have, I will not satisfy with all of them. It is because I was too caught up to bring all the attention and focus unto me until I have forgotten what my vision is. I was self-centered and stubborn but yet God is gracious in all His ways.

God is teaching me to let Him fill me with His love and grace. Only His unconditional love can satisfy the hollow that's been in my heart all these while. Now i know God is the only Person in the whole earth that satisfy and meet my needs according to His richness and glory.